There is a Crack in Everything

Starting Over

cleaning the altar

lighting the candle

starting again

Soen Nakagawa

ENDLESS VOW
The Zen Path of Soen Nakagawa

Into the twilight zendo

maple leaves

come dancing

Zendo no naka nimo mai nu yumomiji

Crane Lady

On most Saturdays we meet at the Men's Prison for a meditation group. M is a nun in the Tibetan tradition .... we meet in the dining hall with a small group of prisoners. Guards look on, but as yet none have joined us.

We meditate, drink tea and talk ... and fold paper cranes. We started with very large pieces of newspaper because it's easier to fold a large one when first learning. Many of them were set in flight about the hall ... like paper airplanes. We laughed a lot and ate all the cookies.





Over a few weeks, we gradually progressed to smaller and smaller models until the guys became familiar with the folds. They hung the cranes in their rooms when they went back. They don't live in cells here, but in blocks of duplexes scattered about the grounds.

Eventually I became known as "the crane lady"

at Sonoma Mountain Zen Center

During the three-month Summer Training Period, I lived in this very tiny cabin at the bottom of the hill near the river. The main building, dining hall, and Zendo are about 1/4 mile up the hill. There is no water or electricity, so I carried jugs of water for drinking and washing. Toilets are outdoors and also up the hill. I kept an ice cream bucket outside for a night time potty. There is a solar shower; the water is icy cold until about 10 in the morning when the sun comes round the mountain to warm the reservoir ... and then again in late afternoon about 4 or 5 when the sun disappears again.

Pema Chodron had been here for a month on a private and personal retreat just before I arrived. She lived in another larger cabin and took her meals in her room.














My favorite work assignment was cooking. Adam and I are preparing lunch for about 30 ... behind is the dining hall where there is a tea and coffee bar. Outside the kitchen door is a gong that we strike with a wooden mallet to announce that meals are ready.

Each day begins with meditation ... it's very early, so I usually came here first for a good jolt of caffeine. Only tea is served at meals, but the coffee bar is always available to use during our spare time. After meditation, we walked down the hill to practice Chi Kung by the river. After breakfast we met outside, forming a circle to sing that old Cat Stevens song - "morning has broken, like the first morning" - to hear any announcements for the day and to receive our work assignments.

at Palolo

This is where I lived for three years when I was studying with Robert Aitken Roshi at Palolo Zen Center in Hawaii



I worked in the kitchen part time to help pay for my room and board

Old Ghosts

the kitchen at Cortes - it's September and the leaves have begun to turn ... returning to my heart place where I lived and worked for three years

returning now for a three-day retreat to visit some old ghosts and put them to rest

Looking for Maia

Maia and I walked here almost every Sunday when she was alive. She's gone now, and I miss her more than I can say.



I walked to the end of the spit last weekend, but she wasn't there. That walk now is sad and lonely ... it's not much fun without her

Han Shan - the Hermit Monk

Cold mountain has many hidden wonders
people who climb here are always getting scared
when the moon shines, water sparkles clear
when the wind blows, grass swishes and rattles

On the bare plum, flowers of snow
on the dead stump, leaves of mist
at the touch of rain it all turns fresh and live
at the wrong season, you can’t ford the creeks.

Gary Snyder - Cold Mountain Poems

The Moon in the Window

Left behind by the thief ...

The moon

In the window

Ryokan, Dewdrops on a Lotus Leaf

Glamorgan - a Heritage Farm

To the farm today to buy eggs from Anny's rare heritage breeds - Naked Necks (from Hungary), Barred Rocks, Buff Orpington, Buff Minorca and Araucana. The eggs have just been plucked from the nests, still warm with bits of straw attached ... different sizes, different colors.

And then to the Happy Harvest organic garden plot for corn and tomatoes and basil. Anny donated these garden plots to a group of charming people. One woman manages the group of busy workers, all of them from special homes for mentally challenged adults,

David is so friendly and helpful. He shows me around to the corn patch, and we find lovely round squash in the between rows, almost hidden, and like finding green treasure.

Richard and Mao

Richard Weaver

and Mao Tse-tung

"The only thing that matters in life is what you endow with meaning; and if you endow it with meaning and you live up to the meaning that you represent, then what you say has value and what you do has value. If you don't do that, then you've done nothing with your life"

Richard Weaver at Cold Mountain, Cortes Island

my teacher

Bamboo leaves
make music
in the wind

One day last week Wally, aka Crack Skull Bob, issued an invitation to one and all to take part in an Illustrated Poems Marathon - you can see other entries so far here

This is a poem written by W.S.Merwin - the sumi-e (brush painting) is done on handmade paper, paper that I made from abaca and bamboo leaves from my garden

Brentwood Bay


Waiting for the ferry, we had lunch at the Seahorses

We had Lomi Lomi and it was delicious ... a traditional Hawaiian dish made with salted salmon


Lomi Lomi (for four)

1 pound salmon fillet cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1/4 cup chopped sweet onion
1/2 tsp white sugar
2 tsp salt
dash of hot sauce
3/4 cup fresh lime juice (about five large limes)
1 cup peeled seeded and chopped ripe tomatoes
1/2 cup minced cilantro
lime slices and sprigs of cilantro for garnish

Combine everything but the tomatoes and the cilantro in a non-reactive container. The salmon should be completely submerged. Cover and refrigerate for 14 hours. The addition of the lime "cooks" and flavors the salmon into a delicate ceviche.

When you're ready to serve it, give the salmon a quick stir, then add the tomatoes and the cilantro, stir again and serve.

in Calgary

I walked and walked - bookstores, art supply stores, and coffee shops




while I was wandering around one day, I discovered this wonderful bookstore ... three stories; most gorgeous wood floors

in the Childrens' Section upstairs there was a play corner with small chairs and tables, giant stuffed animals large enough to sit on or dance with, books and crayons ... a sign on the mural wall said:

UNATTENDED CHILDREN

WILL BE GIVEN AN ESPRESSO

AND A FREE PET

Sumi-e, Shodo and Haiku

Learning about grinding the ink, the paper, and the brush with Eido Roshi in Olympia. I made this small book in which to keep some notes and my practice pages




the elements, the poetry, the images ... learning to sit still ... learning about "less is more" and the white space ... the pure and simple meditation of grinding the ink

Practicing brush strokes for bamboo and moons, learning to make the kanji character for moon

Rain falling at dusk
swept on, on ...
spilling millions of moons
on grass blades

Horinchi

The leaves never know which leaf will be

the first to fall ... does the wind know?

Soseki

A final drop of dew or the first sparkling leaf ...
each illustrates this brief temporal world
in which all things pass through

Sojo Henjo

The wild geese write a verse against the glow

over the hills; their seal - the moon below

Buson

Herons in the Snow

black ink calligraphy on a watercolor background ... snow effect was achieved by sprinkling salt while the paint was still damp